Why is faith so incredibly important to Father God?
Could it be because it is about the essence of His character? Who He is?
Is this why faith is so important, so pleasing to His heart?
I’m sort of awed by the fact that the shield of faith will quench all the fiery darts of the devil. ALL!
Something about that gives me even more desire to keep seeking…keep knocking…keep asking, for faith. For what it is that Father God is fighting to work in my heart. Right now.
And I’m grateful that it’s okay to feel tired and broken along the way.
Speaking to you and maybe mostly to me…
God is pleased with you. He is delighted. He sees the inner work you have been doing. He loves to spend time with you.
Just posting this picture again. Because I could look at it every day, and be happy.
Today didn’t start well.
Enzo woke up…I’m guessing soon after 5:00 am. And not wanting him to wake the 99 other kids in his room, I brought him over to our bed, which he loves. He would still be co-sleeping if I wouldn’t be American and slightly concerned about next baby’s debut.
Well. He didn’t go back to sleep. For a while. And I was starving. So finally I took him out to the kitchen and we ate some blueberry cake. Then we went back to bed. He still didn’t sleep. Any time he got too busy, I’d threaten him with “night night”, and he’d settle down under my chin and cuddle in quietly. But he didn’t sleep. Finally around 6:00 or later, Craig got up and took him along. 🙂 After that, I slept sort of…50% ish. I dreamed about mom, which was cool.
That’s about the only “cool” though, in my morning. It’s Saturday, but Craig needed to make a Dallas run to submit a bid for a roof. I needed to make a tiny HEB run before he left, in order to make pizza today. I got up late, not feeling all that rested. Made breakfast, and dumped the last 1/3 of it on my dress and the floor.
It was drippy outside. I did not feel like going to HEB in the rain, at 8:00 am. With no quiet time and no real waking up under my belt.
I stubbed my broken toe at the grocery store.
We are on our last credit card.
I came home, feeling those pregnancy tears pretty close to the surface. The kitchen was a mess from breakfast. The kids had drank too much of my chai.
All these little things? Not the real pain going on.
Where is God?
If you are learning a faith in our good Father…I’m in the trenches with you.
I found some chai the kids had not consumed, heated it up, and after cleaning the kitchen, headed for the quiet of my room.
Okay. Relative quiet. 🙂
Where is God today? Is He…is He watching?
More, is he so intricately involved in every detail of our lives, business, souls, family, hearts…that nothing escapes His touch? His care. His work. ??? His love? His wisdom? Nothing?
Everything? Is He in everything? Working, caring, fighting for us?
My heart can barely grasp this. I have believed lies for a really long time. I’m not young anymore. A really long time.
But I am determined. Stubbornly determined…I am going to believe.
Life is not just happening.
God has every detail, every tiny detail, down the the last second, in His hand. In His heart.
But if I refuse to believe…
If I refuse to walk forward in expectation, I slam a door in the face of His work. His amazing, awesome, pouring out of blessing.
I wonder…about faith.
Is it really the way I have measured it?
Because Jesus said, if we have faith as tiny as one of the tiniest seeds…that much faith, we can do anything.
Maybe what He cares deeply about, is that I have any faith at all. Maybe He’s not asking me to be overflowing with it. Strong, bold, emanating courage.
Good. Cuz I’m not.
But today…I am holding up the tiniest of seeds to Him.
I will not go to anger, doubt, lies. I will stand. Keep walking.
Or crawling. Inching.
For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is in Him.
Faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.
Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Though the mountains move and the hills shake, My love will not be removed from you and My covenant of peace will not be shaken,” says your compassionate Lord.
There is an occasion for everything, and a time for every activity under heaven.
On Saturday, I attended my once-a-month Bible Study with the lovely ladies who are making an enormous impact on my soul. God sent them to me now. Because God is wise and full of love.
When they prayed over me on Saturday, they prayed that God would pour overflow into me…to flow out to my kids. Because I’m tired right now. It’s been a hard marathon…this past month has been.
When they prayed that…I realized how right they are. They also prayed that now I would rest.
I came home and processed these things. The “rest” part…on point. I have been making a conscious effort now, to chill out. To sort of rest my faith. 🙂
It took a bit longer for the “kid” thing to sink in. But last night, as I lay in bed, ready to sleep, I started seeing where we’re at here.
Yesterday I did a lot of catch up from being at the seminar Thursday and Friday. I was in the kitchen all morning, sitting down for bits and pieces here and there. By noon, I was exhausted on my feet. I baked and cooked and baked…
After a nap (sort of), I got up and cleaned up the kitchen from lunch. It took quite a while…between that, you know, trying to keep the older three kids in line…etc. But then I spent some time just chilling around with Enzo. He was feeling extra huggy…so we had some cuddle time on the couch. He is terribly fun. Like, the best stage ever…
Last night I realized that I’m doing awesome with Enzo. And I’m bonding happily with my new baby girl. I play lullabies for her. I can’t wait to see her…
But the older three of the hundred…they’re sort of on their own. I train them! I make sure their behavior is not going downhill. I teach them to clean up their play stuff. I give them hugs, sure. But really…they are fairly happy kids, and they are just…growing up.
I’m not really pouring into them. It’s true. There are three of them. And if I have one helping me in the kitchen (which they adore), I have three. Try that in my little kitchen. And then I have Enzo climbing up onto their chairs at the counter, trying to push them off… Etc.
You’re bored? Go find something to do. 🙂
You hit your sister? Sit on the couch for a while. We don’t do that.
Kindergarten? Uh…tomorrow…(with an exhausted sigh at the end of the day…)
I’m not beating myself over the head. I’m just grateful to see this.
So last night I asked God for three things…
Patience. Wisdom. Love.
And this morning…as I looked at Daisy sitting valiantly on the couch with Craig, trying hard to stay awake, but sleeping sitting up…I was like, overcome with love for her. For one, she looked like her daddy in that moment. 🙂 But really…just love. God’s love.
I need it. They are a handful. And they test me every day.
But God’s got what we need. Overflowing. Pouring over the edges of our hearts.
That’s what I’m praying for, and what I’m grateful for…
Today? They’re going to get to help me with laundry, cooking, and more baking. Then, if the rain stops…we might go to a park. 🙂
I say “might”. Because a pregnant woman needs to keep her options open. 😉
They love helping me with my work. I need to slow down and make that time with them quality. Fun. Love.
There are my thoughts of the day!
Blessings from Father God to all of you who mother young children…today.
Not the pink you were expecting, perhaps. 🙂 I haven’t started on that yet! Mostly for two reasons. One: our business office is in occupation of the room that will be the girls’ room someday. Two: after a month of trusting the Lord…okay, learning to trust the Lord, I am getting down to the bottom of the freezer, and nursery decor is not at the top of the budget list! 🙂 🙂 Three: I don’t feel like sewing. 🙂
But honestly, I have thrilled to this nursery decor so much in the past year, that I hesitate to think of buying baby girl stuff. I want to make it! It’s so much fun looking at it later…
Anyway, so the other day, I finished moving things over to the green room, from where we had started out with Enzo’s nursery in the plum room. And then, inspired, I whipped out the left-over fabric pieces, and made the second curtain, as the green room has two windows! Then I cleaned the room and sat on my polka dot rocker that makes you feel like it might throw you over backwards if you rock too hard, and I just breathed in the aura of the room. 🙂 Ahhh….love my baby Enzo and I love his nursery.
The new curtain. Much easier to make than the other one!
The other one. 🙂
And here is the shining face of Enzo himself. Yes. He loves to color and draw with pencils. While sitting on top of the table…
And one more picture. Matching with my girls for church today! (Sadly, you can’t see the polka dot ruffle at the bottom of their dresses.)
When Craig told me that he had signed me up to attend the Global Leadership Summit with him I said, “huh.” ?
I mean, yes…we are on this crazy journey in business together. And yes, I love it. And yes, I am working to support and bless Craig and empower him as I can with prayer and encouragement and taking care of him and our kids and…
But The $100 for me to attend? And while I am on a steep learning curve…I still know so little about the business world, and my place is at home taking care of my family and…yeah.
I felt honored and excited. Two days to hang out with Craig and get out of the house! But I did wonder. Will I get bored and tired and wonder what I was doing there? I mean, I can only listen to so much business…stuff…
But I looked forward to it. And hoped it wouldn’t be a total…waste of his money… 🙂
And then, yesterday morning, we headed to Fort Worth, leaving our kids in the lovely hands of two young ladies. They all thought it was a great party. 🙂 And so with a lot of happiness, and a lot of questions about this Summit thing…I joined my husband on the road…to Fort Worth.
I look back and wonder how many chuckles God was having. 🙂 Because yeah…
This Global Leadership Summit?
It blew my entire inner life out of it’s…well, not actually that comfortable, but…sort of safe, comfortable, small…world. Dreams. Knowledge of God’s call on me. Blew it out. Bit by bit. Incredible teaching by incredible teaching. Until the second day…He took the groundwork, and took my heart. And sent an explosion through my world as I knew it.
I know. I’m making a lot of sense here. 🙂
Let’s just say that I have never sat under the teaching and influence of this caliber. Bored? I sat there riveted. Crying. Wanting to shout. By turn. Amazed that they could keep a slightly uncomfortable, pregnant woman transfixed…and glued to her seat. For an entire day. Okay, I did some walking around. 🙂 But yeah…
I’m not going to try and recap the things I learned. They will probably come out bit by bit as I process and live and keep learning… 🙂
But there’s one thing I want to say.
I believe that my “place” is in my home, serving my husband and children. And I love it!
So often during this summit, I thrilled to what we were learning, because it was perfectly down Craig’s line…what he is learning, doing, the path God has him on! It was amazing.
Then about the middle of the second day, God pointed his finger gently at my heart and said, I have something I placed in you. Things I want you to do. This training is for you. You going to leave that talent, safe, protected, and unused? Or are you going to find it, follow, and go?
Okay God. Yes Sir.
I don’t really know what He’s talking about. I have a few ideas, but I’m okay with the process. 🙂 One thing I do know is that it won’t counter His Word in any way. And it won’t take from my calling of wife and mother. 🙂 And I also know that I’m excited!
But I wanted to write this for one reason. Cuz I’m not alone here. So, if you hear God nudge you and say…I’ve placed something in you…that I want you to do…please find it! Please use it to change the world! The world I have you in.
Then hey…we’re in this together. 🙂
I will stand at my guard post
And station myself on the lookout tower.
I will watch to see what He will say to me
And what I should reply about my complaint.
The Lord answered me:
“…For the vision is yet for the appointed time;
it testifies about the end and will not lie.
Though it delays,
wait for it,
since it will certainly come
and not be late.
The righteous one will live by faith.
But the Lord is in His holy temple;
let everyone on earth
be silent in His presence.”
Now I must quietly wait…
Though the fig tree does not bud
and there is no fruit on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
Yet I will TRIUMPH in Yahweh;
I will rejoice in the God of my salvation!
Yahweh my Lord is my strength;
He makes my feet like those of a deer
and enables me to walk
on mountain heights!
Mankind, He has told you
what is good
and what it is the Lord requires of you;
to act justly,
to love faithfulness,
and to walk humbly with your God.
So very blessed…
I don’t know what God has placed in your heart to believe in Him for.
I know what He has been saying to us.
And it has been sweeping away small thoughts, lies, baggage, and other junk that has been clogging our souls.
It’s an uphill climb. But uphill climbs can be the most exhilarating, fantastic thing that ever happened to us! It can also be exhausting and hard.
This morning, I woke up feeling damp in my soul. My eyes down on the ground.
Then…as I sat by our window, with my mug of creamy chai, and my Daisy cuddling by my side…
God gave me verse after verse. Word after word. Truth after truth. Promise after heartfelt, understanding love.
And I want to share! So here goes…for you…as it is for me…
In my distress I called to the Lord,
And He answered me…
I lift my eyes toward the mountains,
Where will my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not allow your foot to slip;
your Protector will not slumber.
Indeed, the Protector of Israel
does not slumber or sleep!
…the Lord is a shelter by your side.
The sun will not strike you by day
or the moon by night.
The Lord will protect you from all harm!
The Lord will protect your coming and going…
both now and forever.
Pray for the peace of Jerusalem:
“May those who love you prosper;
may there be peace within your walls,
prosperity within your fortresses.”
I life my eyes to You,
the One enthroned in heaven.
Like a servant’s eyes on his master’s hand,
so our eyes are on the Lord our God
until He shows us favor.
Show us favor, Lord, show us favor…
Our help is in the name of Yahweh,
the Maker of heaven and earth!
Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion.
It cannot be shaken;
It remains forever.
Jerusalem–the mountains surround her.
And the Lord surrounds His people,
both now and forever.
When the Lord restored the fortunes of Zion,
we were like those who dream.
Our mouths were filled with laughter then!
And our tongues with shouts of joy!!
Then they said among the nations,
“The Lord has done great things for them.”
The Lord had done great things for us;
we were joyful.
Restore our fortunes, LORD,
Like watercourses in the Negev.
Those who sow in tears
will reap in joy.
Though one goes along weeping,
carring the bag of seed,
he will surely come back with shouts of joy,
carrying his sheaves.
Unless the Lord builds the house…
It’s builders labor over it in vain;
Unless the Lord watches over a city…
the watchman stays alert in vain.
He gives sleep to the one He loves.
Father God, our eyes are on You. We are small. But You are power and goodness! Your heart is good! Perfect. Love.
I’m sooo happy…
As are they! Especially the twins!
And him. 🙂
So grateful to Father God!
“I don’t really know what to get you for your birthday this year…” (My amazing husband, Craig, speaking.)
“Hmmm. I don’t really know what I want/need either…” (His wife speaking.)
She soon came up with a fun idea! Overnight get-away before the new baby arrives!!
And so we did.
We used points to secure a gorgeous, corner suite at Le Meridian Dallas, the Stoneleigh.
We had aspirations of doing some adventurous exploring in the great city of Dallas. 🙂
Instead, we settled on a coffee shop on Friday afternoon…
But there we sat, in the middle of the room, on yellow couches. And after sipping our drinks, decided we were tired and not in the mood to be a centerpiece. So we found our hotel and checked in! It was so gorgeous in there. So we relaxed. Honestly, somehow, I need to find a way to be in a constant state of relaxation and peace, even though I have a hundred kids! It took me a bit to decompress and really start resting. 🙂
For dinner, we decided we were in the mood for Mexican fine dining. 🙂 We knocked that one out of the park! It was a lovely restaurant, great prices, and delicious! Definitely a cut above the usual Mexican fare of Cleburne. 🙂 I enjoyed grilled quail with a side of sauteed vegetables, and fried plantain. It was amazing. We added a side of papusas. Cuz we had to! Sadly, they missed the mark. We know what the real deal is like. 🙂 Ah. That was fun.
Craig and I like to do the same things. That’s kinda’ cool. 🙂 We are sort of…foodies…without money. 🙂 Which is actually fun! Cuz then you need to work to find the cool food you can eat.
For breakfast the next morning, we found The Yolk. Amazing food. Fun atmosphere.
And then we said…let’s find another coffee shop! We both had reading/meditating we wanted to do. And talking. 🙂 So we struck out. This coffee shop…honestly, was a dream. It was not full. Not loud. It had pleasant, modern, cool decor. Great drinks. And all these corners of comfy seats!
We spent quite some time there. It was awesome.
Then we went back to chill in the cool areas of the hotel. And ordered Chili Lime Sweet Potato Fries. I cannot begin to describe how delicious they were. And I cannot wait to make something similar! I am going to toss sweet potato pieces in chili powder and olive oil. Roast in the oven. When it comes out, squeeze fresh lime over the fries. Add chili powder to ranch dip. Eat a lot. Mmmmm….
Then we went home. 🙂 I missed my kids. But it was so good for us and wonderful in many ways.