The past week has been…crazy. Not in a normal sort of way. In good and terrible and scary and fantastic, change-your-life ways.
It started out with extreme nausea. I am only at 7 weeks pregnant, tomorrow, to be exact. And the nausea this past week was overwhelming. Like, I-cannot-survive-this sort of nausea. Along with that, I have been hungrier than I ever remember being in my entire life. I think even hungrier than with my other pregnancies, but one cannot be sure. It’s been a number of years…and I may have forgotten.
But seriously, how do you eat so much, when you cannot stand food? It’s not funny. And I was not seeing out over the top.
So we went to see a counselor in Oklahoma. A number of friends and acquaintances have been there, and have received life changing help. It may seem strange that we went for “morning sickness”. (Which for me, is all day, worse in the evening.) But we knew that this elderly gentleman believes that pregnancy nausea is not necessary, and can be taken care of. So that’s what pushed us to actually go.
We were number 4000 something, who has come to him for help. Many people, but not 100%, leave his office healed of many different physical issues. And the emotional and spiritual issues…having those taken care of is out of this world…amazing.
Mr. Pratt believes that there are spiritual roots to most emotional pain and issues. And that is where he goes. The result, for me, was/is unlike anything I have experienced with any other counseling I’ve taken. It’s final. It’s real. You don’t need to go back and forgive again. It’s done.
He also believes that a lot of these spiritual issues cause physical illnesses and problems. And while he did anoint me with oil and pray for complete healing in every part of my body, the other things we took care of were connected to my extreme nausea and other problems.
And so, after a rather intense 4 hours or more, we walked out of there, and I was nausea free. Went to Subway, with its spicy air, and ate. I was so excited!
But for me, it’s been a process. A continuing walk. Mr. Pratt calls it a “walkout”. While some people are healed as with the touch of Jesus, for others, it’s a process of walking out of the former way of thinking and living, and the nausea with that. A lot of things seem to be caused by fear. I had no idea how much fear I had. Fear of nausea. Fear of how this VBAC will go. Fear of driving in large cities. Fear of what people think of me and the way I dress. Fear of my beautiful, little girls getting hurt. Fear of financial stuff. That only touches the surface of all the fear I had. Yesterday, I realized that I “should” be afraid of driving to Waco tonight. But instead, I am looking at Jesus, and knowing that He will take care of it. It’s quite a different way to live.
And so I continue to battle the nausea. When I realize that I am working in my kitchen, doing dishes, making a meal!!, eating things I could not have eaten last week, I know there has been a huge, huge change. But I still fight it. I find myself, at times feeling nausea, and just becoming afraid…and then is when I need to look at Jesus, and worship Him. And believe. Sometimes it means obedience and walking out in faith. Eating something that I really am terrified will make me want to vomit. But when I start eating, I am fine! Very shortly, I will need to start taking my prenatal vitamins again. I quit when I got sick, as I know they add to the nausea for some people. So honestly, I’m afraid. But I’m going to kick that fear in the ____ and go take my vitamins.
Other times, I just have nausea and feel so confused. Then I also need to look at Jesus, and trust Him. I am a child in this…learning…taking tiny steps…wanting to follow Him…
So that was Friday, which was actually the twins’ birthday! But we celebrated it on Saturday. Craig’s parents came on Thursday. They had planned to come for the twins’ birthday, and so it worked out well for us to have babysitters on Friday! Saturday was a lot of party fun! Blog post coming on that!
Tonight I’m going to Waco for an ultrasound. My friend from church works at the pregnancy crisis center there, and is doing an ultrasound for me! I just need to know how many babies we’re dealing with here…