That’s actually a question, not a statement.
But the truth is, my baby life with Enzo is not hard! I don’t have that “this is my first baby, and I have no idea what I’m doing” feeling. Although sometimes I admit I do still feel that way. And of course, the twins were…twins. And unfortunately, with Bomani only a year old, there was a lot of sheer survival going on. Enzo is fun! And more fun now that I’m getting more sleep…
So, I think I’m going to put that post back on at the end of this email. I took it off mainly for me. No matter what I said in that post, when I wrote it, I was feeling bad inside. So now that I took care of that, I think I’m fine with what I wrote.
I’m so grateful for all your comments and advice! I think I have found the way for us for now. I started checking how often I feed Enzo, and it rarely passes the 3 hour mark. If he sleeps a really long time, it may go over that, but not usually. Sometimes he wants to eat at the 2 hour mark. So I feed him. But it’s so helpful to know that the feeding every three hours thing helped you all with your babies! And for sleeping at night, I found what I needed to do. And that is co-sleep. Not in his arms reach bed, not in his bouncer on the floor…but tucked right next to me. I’ve done it for several nights now, and for the after lunch nap time, and he sleeps so much better. Maybe it’s not so much that he sleeps longer but that he goes back to sleep. I want to feed him every 3-4 hours at night at this point. So I’m cool with how often he wakes up to eat. I just had such a hard time getting him to sleep well after that first feeding. Now I don’t. In fact, most nights I barely remember that first feeding. We’re both half asleep. The later feeding he is often a bit crazy. And I need to change his diaper…cuz either he spent some time filling it or he peed on our bed through his clothes. Then we’re both more awake, partly because it’s closer to morning, but mostly because of all the activity. But we still go back to sleep. And I have been feeling so much more rested! It has taken me a few nights to get used to having a little person right there. I am careful not to put the blankets over his face, etc. But I’m getting used to it and sleeping better. So I’m very grateful for that! I knew from the beginning that Enzo loves to sleep in our bed. As a newborn, he loved to sleep there during the day. He probably smelled mama. And he seemed to like sinking into our memory foam mattress. But no matter what I rigged up in his co sleeper to feel like our bed, he still knows it’s not. And finally I said, “well, hello–let’s just do it! He needs it.” And so I did.
I was feeling pretty scary emotionally over the weekend. Not sure why, except that…I’m a woman? And even though I’m drinking something very pink, I still have some ups and downs. And the weekend was a down. Craig is working so much, bless his heart. Whatever you do…please have a new baby and start anew business at the same time. /:) I mean, as so much the exact same time that you are choosing the names simultaneously. In fact, I called Enzo, Fidato once. So it’s a bit crazy right now. Craig has so much to do. But he is still such a super good dad and husband. It’s just…life right now. And by Saturday evening I needed a break so badly. I love our kids. But then you need to have someone else in charge sometimes. And sit down and breathe. Which I did Sunday evening. I’ll post about that later. (Enzo’s baby shower!)
Prayers for our business are appreciated! We bid on a job so large that if we would get it, it would get us a nice piece down the road to success. It’s been a good thing for us to walk through this. We really want what God wants here. He is wise. His heart is good.
I had an allergy attack like none other last night and this morning. Pollen levels are high around here right now. I think I’m feeling well enough to live today.
Okay, here’s the post I had written earlier.
Love you all!
Ahhh…the sun is shining so brightly it hurts your eyes to stand outside! That is probably mostly due to the fact that we had such a rain storm last evening that there is water standing around in pools. Has Texas ever looked like a tropical rainforest? Because it’s thinking about it. I went to Goodwill in Burleson last evening for a few more pieces to finish out my wardrobe. Suddenly we heard a siren…more like horn. Then we were instructed over the intercom to head for the bathroom area. I guess it’s safer there? I heard something about 60 mph winds. The City of Burleson called too. I was happy to get back to my shopping, but slightly on edge about navigating home. There was driving rain when I left. Sheets. But my Enzo was getting hungry, so…you know…don’t get in the way of a mama bear! I was so happy to be safely home!
The kids are outside “painting” the patio with paintbrushes and water.
So…to get to the point of this blog post…
This whole “how to raise your baby in the first six months” is a finicky subject. Why? Because…like one of the ladies in my facebook vbac group said, babies are different! They need different ways of raising them. Sleeping, eating, playing…what feels safe and what doesn’t…babies have such varied needs. Why else are there hundreds of books out there telling you how to do it…and they’re so different?!
This has all come to my mind because of Enzo’s sleeping habits, and my quest to find the way for him. I realized that I have changed a lot. I have learned so, so much. And while I may be wrong, I believe what I believe without apology. I also believe that my own children have had different needs and different patterns. And no matter what I believe, I respect your thoughts. Your beliefs. Where you have come in your journey.
So as I write what I believe, I do it with respect to everyone. I do it without saying “I’m right and you’re wrong”. I do it with no pointing fingers. I do it for one reason: I have wished with all my soul, that I would have learned more of what I know now, before my first baby.
And so I’m writing it.
There are two reasons I demand feed.
One: I am not a scheduly person.
Two: I want to feed my baby when he wants to eat. Always. I get hungry between meals. Babies tummies, at birth, are about the size of a penny. Also, there are times, like this morning, when Enzo had to fill his diaper. He couldn’t eat right until a while later, when he had done his job and was settled down. I know that Enzo uses me as a pacifier. Trust me, I know this. But I believe that’s good. For one, if you want to keep your period away, you need to be the only thing your baby sucks on. For some people, they can use pacifiers and everything else, and still not get their cycle back. I need to be careful. Secondly, it comforts Enzo when he smells me, knows I’m near. That’s what I want.
So I like demand feeding. So I do it. No rocket science…just do what you want!
There is a lot of science out there about keeping your baby with you at night. About wearing your baby during the day. About not letting your baby cry a lot. For Enzo, we have found that there are times we need to let him cry for a little while. At night, when he is tired, he is sort of out of his mind. So sometimes we let him cry a bit, then we might pace with him and put him to sleep that way. Or just let him cry to let him wear out a bit. As far as baby wearing, I don’t wear Enzo much anymore since his reflux is so much better. Why? Because I get tired out! And I can’t work as well or as fast. So I don’t do that.
When it comes to co sleeping…I think we are finding the right thing for this baby. I wish I would have kept my other babies in my room, next to my bed until they were at least a year old. Maybe longer. Bomani did sleep in our room. The twins we put into another room because I was losing my sanity from lack of sleep, and I heard every sniff they made. I still wish we had kept them close.
Yesterday for our nap, I put Enzo beside me in my bed. Not in his co sleeper, but snuggled right against me. I had this gut feeling that this was what Enzo really wanted/needed. And the comments to some questions I put on the vbac group page confirmed it to me that I wanted to try it. He slept. Really well. He woke once. I fed him. I didn’t even lift him up to burp him, because I could tell he had nursed well, without a lot of air intake. He slept after that for hours. I was amazed.
Last night then, I kept him beside me. I haven’t had a night like that in a long time! I know I fed him once, but it’s blurry in my mind. Then around 4:30 I fed him again. He didn’t eat well…was writhing around and snuffling around. Then he finally filled his diaper. Ah. Okay. After that, he ate some more, burped some more, and went back to sleep. Slept until morning. I think this is going to work!
I didn’t actually sleep that well. I’m not used to it yet. But I will get used to it. You can sort of get used to what you need to…a new pillow. A new mattress. A new room. A baby. I want to see if I can get used to it and sleep well. Still, since I had not been up with him, I felt so good at 4:30 I thought I could get up and start my day!
They say that you don’t actually “want” your baby to sleep long stretches at this tender age. Your milk is most nutrient dense at night. And if you want to keep up your supply and keep away your cycle, you need to feed your baby at night. So now I feel this “okayness” with it. I don’t feel like I’m being a dumb mom to not get my baby to sleep long stretches by two months. One mom mentioned that she sees the months after baby is born, as the fourth trimester. It’s okay if it’s intense.
Again, I’m not trying to convince anyone of this stuff. I’m just saying what I believe and what I do.
My vbac moms who did co sleeping with their babies now have toddlers who sleep well on their own.
So find what’s right for you!